President Bush poked his head outside the White House yesterday and saw his shadow, which means the United States will suffer through four more months of his disastrous administration and cost Americans hundreds of billions of dollars.

Bush was forced to appear in public to comment on his economic policies which has caused the total collapse of the American monetary system. The frightened President mumbled for about ninety seconds, took no questions and scurried back to his hiding space under his desk where he's been riding out the remaining days of his presidency gorging on Doritos and playing video golf.